The Phase Before
I have this tendency to over think things. I’m not sure if that’s apparent yet, or not. If not, well then I’ll have to work on being a bit more transparent, won’t I?
Not only am I a Type A personality and an ENFP on the Keirsey Temperament Test, I am always thinking about the next phase. Exhibit A – I had senioritis when I was a sophomore in high school.
When Isaiah and I got engaged, however, is the only time I haven’t acted on my impulses as a planner and dreamer to put it all together immediately. Actually, there’s a lot about how our relationship got to this point that has resulted because he changes some of the fundamental things about me that sometimes lead to regrets.
Let me start by telling you that I took a year-long hiatus from dating at 18 because I had become a complete chameleon. Or as a popular story involving Julia Roberts goes, I didn’t know how I wanted my eggs. I spent a year with myself. I read, I rediscovered things I loved and had neglected (piano) and I tried to determine what the hell was wrong with me.
Anyways, I came out the other side of a year and that’s when Isaiah and I started “talking” for real (I’m a middle-schooler sometimes) – we were friends first.
One of an annoying amount of lessons I learned during that time was to establish and embrace/nurture my weaknesses, depending on the situation. My tendency to always look five steps ahead of now often causes me to lose enjoyment in certain phases – kind of the whole live-in-the-moment-thing.
My point is this: Rather than jumping to plan the wedding, we’ve been engaged for almost two years and haven’t planned a thing. It’s not procrastination, I promise you. We are simply enjoying this “stage.” The being engaged stage.
We highly enjoyed and recommend making the most of the dating phase as well.
I’ve not yet succeeded in applying this level of stage-comfort to any other aspect in my life (school & my career freakout), but hey, it’s a step.
Like everything said in this blog, this is just my opinion and the way things work for us. Have you tried enjoying the engaged phase? The married phase before the baby or house phase? The current job phase? The current wardrobe phase?
Just a thought.